I know this is a little late but I was kinda busy around New Years. 2011 was a great year I graduated High School and started college. I love my university and all of the people I have met there. I achieved the grades I wanted while still having a good time. This New Year holds so many new possibilities. I am going to reach my goal weight of 160 by the summer. I will achieve this by eating healthy, keeping active (no excuses) and making sure I am the biggest priority in my life. I still need to be vigilant about my grades but I want to meet more people and make more lasting connections. Next school year I am excited to live with two dear friends and have a blast. This year will be great, it has to be!

People confuse me. A friend and I were supposed to live i an offcampus place called The Retreat then I told her I was like I still like the retreat but the woodlands looks cool too. The girl tells me that the woodlands is way worse than the retreat and its bad. The other day I asked when she wanted to sign a lease, the broad said she wants to live in the woodlands now…indecision.

I’m going to paint you guys a picture of part of my day yesterday. Okay picture it I just got out of work  and walked to the closest bus station, which happens to be in front of our athletic dorm, right when I sat down I was approached by a guy. This man had dreads that had seen better days, pants sagging down to midthigh and a wife beater on; let’s just say I wasn’t interested. “Why are you here by yourself, don’t you have any friends” he asked “I have plenty of friends but I’m just waiting for the bus” I replied going back to scrolling Facebook on my phone. “Do you have a boyfriend?”  He asked “Sure don’t” “Want one” he asked. Okay, first thing you did wrong, I hate corny pick up lines. “I’m good but thanks for the offer” I replied “You know Upshaw?” he asked, Upshaw is one of our best football players of course I know who he is “Yes” “That’s my cousin”. That was the second thing, I don’t like it when people try to impress you by riding on the coattails of someone else, you want me to be interested in you right? Then tell me interesting things about you, it would be impressive if you were on the football team. “That’s awesome” I said, where the hell was this bus at? “You got a cigarette” “No I don’t smoke”, Third thing I hate smoking. Finally the bus was rounding the corner, “Well there’s my bus, It’s been lovely talking to you” I said getting up “Yeah you too, you thick with a fat ass, just what I like” “well thanks and have a good night.” Okay bro I know you meant that as a compliment but telling me I have a fat ass doesn’t exactly flatter me.

Now this rant probably makes me sound like a major bitch but I am a pretty complicated person with a lot of pet peeves and he managed to possess so many qualities I do not like. Our whole conversation was practically an example of how not to get me to like you.

It has been awhile and not much has changed. That saddens me in a way I always make a bunch of grandiose promises to myself and I never live up to them and I have no one to blame but myself. I have made some improvements in my life like I started eating better, gave up soda and tried to keep a steady workout plan but I always give up or binge and I know that it isn’t the end of the world when that happens but to me it feels that way. I have made plenty of steps in the right direction but I can’t let a few steps backwards determine the rest of my life and I can’t get stuck in a rut. It is easy to break a promise, especially to yourself, but I promise, from this day, to not give up on myself and to not let one setback define me.

livetheskinnylife asked: Do you go there? Well like really, they keep sending me shit in the mail and I want to punch them in the mouth because I have applied. I mean really, is it so hard for you to do your job?

Yeah I go there. Despite all of the bureaucratic bullshit, it is an awesome place.

So today was my first day of classes and I am pumped for the semester to start like full fledged. I also am ready to stop making excuses, start exercising and making better eating descions. I am going vgetarian again because i personally feel it helps me on my weight loss quest. I am not going to weight myself until I get home for winter break.

I keep promising myself I will do better on my weight loss efforts but it doesnt happen. I keep saying I will work out more and it doesnt happen. I do not motivate myself and just keep destroying my body. I have lost 10 pounds since I really started trying to lose weight last september and that is sad. I really need to get healthy because one it is good for my body and two it will make me happier. I need to do this for me and I will do it. By this time next year I vow to be at my goal weight of 160. I will do this because failure is not an option. I am going to college in a few weeks and I know it will be hard but I will do it.

I hope that i achieve all of my dreams in college. To have my goal body, to earn the grades I want/need, to meet life long friends, to join a sorority, to have a bitchin time every single day. I know it sound like a cliche teen drama but I am a teen and I just wish dreams came true.

This week I will end being 216 pounds. I will try to do all of my scheduled workouts but it might be tricky because I am going to college orientation this week but that does mean I will be walking alot. I need to rememeber to not be tempted with all of that great Southern food and look at the bigger picture, the one where I get smaller.